happyfalcon | [For Thomas] Surprising Developments

[For Thomas] Surprising Developments

It had been some weeks since Anne had spent the afternoon composing poetry with Mark and Thomas. But in that short amount of time, so much had happened that Anne could hardly believe that it was all real, that none of it was a dream...

Thomas finished the poem soon enough and one evening Anne had stood beside his sister Margaret, with Mark playing the violin beside them both, and sang for the court. It was beautiful, and the sight of Thomas, so happy and overjoyed, it had been overwhelming for Anne. She had longed to go to him that evening but it was not to be. Her father had taken her from the crowds in the hall and took her down to the catacombs. There George had brought a fine white gown which she had been commanded to change into.

For she was to marry the King that very night.

Anne had tried to protest but her father had forced her. George kept their father's rage in check as best he could, and under his breath advised his sister that she had best forget her secret lover and do as their father commanded. With no escape possible, Anne submitted, and married Henry VIII.

In the time after their wedding, Anne's headaches had grown worse. Mornings were the worst, and often she could not rouse herself from bed without first throwing up into her chamber pot. To make matters worse, her belly had begun to swell and her bleeding had stopped. Anne was horrified - she was pregnant, and she knew precisely who the father was.

Thomas Wyatt.

She had not been herself the past few days since she had figured out her condition. Anne still attended court and the festivities that evening brought. But one night she could contain it no longer. After a long night of refusing wine and avoiding the smells from the food table, Anne grabbed Mary by the hand and led her back to a more private chamber, unaware of any who might see them and follow after them.

She had to tell someone, and she couldn't bear to tell Thomas, not yet.

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As Anne leaned back, Wyatt rubbed her shoulders, not willing to let go of her completely.

"I heard you and Mary," he confessed. "I am sorry. I know I shouldn't have." His eyes turned to her belly as well.

"Not sorry. Anne, if it's mine... Are you sure it's mine? Are you sure you're pregnant at all? Maybe you're just stressed. I mean, if you are, this is a right mess but do not doubt for a moment that I wouldn't want to if I'm the father."

Mary's words echoed in Anne's mind. Why should Thomas believe the child is his and not Henry's? Her word alone? She prayed it was good enough.

"I'm sure. I've not been with the King, not as I've been with you, until our wedding night," it had been her obligation after all. "But I've felt strange since before that, and I've missed my bleeding, which if the child were his, it'd be too soon for that."

Her dark eyes were wide and glassy, suddenly overwhelmed with fear thanks to Mary's words. "You believe me, don't you Thomas?"

God he hated thinking and hearing about Anne and Henry in bed together. It made his skin crawl. But more than that he hated seeing her with such sad face. He touched her cheek.

"Don't cry, my love. I... believe you." There was nothing else he could say without upsetting her but Wyatt knew that admitting the fact meant serious things. He shook his head.

"This is bad. Really bad. Damn that night! Why did we-? Why? I should have stopped. We're done for now."

He pressed Anne against his chest again. "What are we going to do?"

Anne was indeed terrified, but in a way she was happy too. She was carrying the child of the man she loved. That was a good thing, wasn't it? But no, they were not married. Er, they were, just not to each other. But Anne was not equipped to handle that question.

"I...I don't know..." She leaned into his chest and buried her face against his neck. "You heard Mary...should I pretend it's the King's child?"

What was their alternative? They could run, she supposed. But where would they go?

"Is it so wrong that I want the baby?" that she wanted to be a mother? Could they have a future if she gave him a son?

Wyatt stroked Anne's hair silently and then turned her face upwards to meet his gaze. He was quiet still, mulling over the words which touched him deeply.

"You want this child?" he asked like it was the most outlandish notion to want a baby to be born in this awful situation.

"You want my child..." Wyatt's mouth turned into a faint smile though it didn't stay for long. He dropped his hands and stepped back, stretching himself tall and looking a bit defiant and a bit sorrowful.

"If you stay with Henry, the baby must be his. Of that Mary was right about. If you don't... I promised to take you away." That promise felt extremely heavy now for she was married to the King of all people.

"I will honour my promise if there is no other way." He didn't know how he'd do it but he needed to be a man of his word.

At first she thought he shared her happiness. That all would be well, they could keep the baby and be happy together. Yet he stepped away. Anne just looked at him for a long moment. She reached out after a long pause and brushed her fingers over his cheek, savoring the feeling of his coarse beard under her fingers.

"How am I to hold you to a promise that makes you so sad?" Anne knew how Thomas loved England. How he loved his son.

She could not take him away from what he loved.

Even if she wanted to run, to be with him, and raise their child together somewhere far away where Henry could not touch them. Even when that meant leaving a crown and throne behind. She was to be queen. But she would give it up to be with Thomas.

"I will not ask anything of you, my love," she said sorrowfully as she brought her hand down. So yes, the child had to be Henry's. They had to pretend.

"It doesn't make me sad. It makes me worried. Your safety, and the safety of this baby depends on what we do. God, Anne, there's more at stake here than just you and me now. We can't make rash decisions."

Unwilling to let her go, Wyatt took her hands in his. "Don't turn away from me. Don't lose hope. We both promised to listen and to talk things through."

He led her across the room to the chair in front of the fireplace. He sat down and pulled her to sit sideways on his lap.

"Now, what do you want? What were your plans before I found out?"

It was difficult for Anne to think of things beyond the two of them. Thomas was already a father, Anne was not yet a mother. But she knew he was right. She followed, wrapping her fingers around his hands as she settled into his lap. It took Anne a long moment to consider his question.

"Truth of the matter is...I had none," she replied. "I knew only that I had to tell you, thus when Mary said not to tell you...I couldn't even think on it."

Anne leaned into him, resting her head against the crook of his shoulder. His scent comforted her. "I want to be happy; I want to be safe; I want to be the mother of your child..." these were all the things she wanted. Just as he had asked. But she didn't know how to accomplish all these things. If they even could.

"I don't want to be Queen..." jewels, fame, fortune - none of that mattered. Not to her.

He was still shaken by the news. If only Anne had discovered the pregnancy before her marriage, their lives would be much easier. Not exactly easy, but more so than with a baby on the way.

"I'm glad you were going to tell me. I deserved to know, even if Mary thought otherwise. She had a point, though. Everyone would believe the baby is Henry's." There was some irony in that statement. Rumours circulated at court that Henry, not William Carey, was the father of Mary's children.

Wyatt placed his hand over the pointy end of Anne's bodice that covered her belly. "You can hide it from most of us for weeks but you can't hide it from Henry for long."

So what could they do? "If we flee England... we'll be in the mercy of other people's goodwill. But if Henry wants you back with offers of a reward for your return, that goodwill hard to come by."

Anne nodded, agreeing completely. He was the father of her child, he deserved to know that. Even if they decided that he could not play father in the traditional sense, he deserved to know that the child she carried was indeed his. Anne glanced down when Thomas placed his hand over her belly. Over their growing child. She couldn't help smiling softly, feeling sentimental and resting her free hand atop his.

"I know...I know you're right. We might find some place where Henry is disliked - those places are not so few. But still, it would be difficult..." and she wasn't sure she could force a newborn infant to endure life like that. Because of her. "If we stay in England, I will have to do as Mary said. The King must think the child is his. Then there's after the baby's born to consider..."

Anne wasn't blind, she saw how Thomas reacted to seeing her with the King. She tipped her head to catch his gaze. "Can you live with that? Seeing not only me with the King, but seeing him raise our child every day?"

"I would have to live with that whether I like it or not. I suppose... Henry might send the baby to be raised in the countryside. You know that often happens with royal children. Princess Mary has been sent away several times."

Wyatt tilted his head to kiss Anne's forehead. "Should I have to choose between not being able to see my child at all or seeing him here with you and Henry, I'd choose the latter." He knew it would be very suspicious for him to visit this child in a country manor out of London.

"I would endure it if it meant seeing him grow up." Wyatt sighed and shook his head. "Can you believe it? If we stay here, my child could one day become the king of England. Or the queen. I'm not sure I'd want such burden for them."

((ooc: The first sentence of my previous tag should have ended: Not exactly easy, but more so than with her now married.

I shouldn't be writing tags so late at night.))

"My child's place is wherever I am. I will not have my child sent somewhere far from here like Mary," Anne was bound and determined not to let Henry send her child away to be raised in her absence. But, if necessary, Anne would make sure to find a way for Thomas to accompany her amongst her encourage when she would go to visit their child.

Anne smiled softly as his lips brushed over her forehead. She chuckled softly at his musing over their baby being the next ruler of England. Her fingers rubbed over her lower belly. She felt so much better now that Thomas knew. She wasn't aline anymore.

They'd get through this together.

"Perhaps I could arrange it so that you could teach him," she offered. Anne figured it would be a way for Thomas to see and spend time with their child daily without arousing suspicion. "How to read and write and about literature - if you like?"

Wyatt ran a hand slowly through his hair and stared at the fireplace. Anne seemed calm and rational which made him happy but he was not happy about the lack of decent options.

"I don't like this. Why can't I see a solution that is a good one?" He didn't want his child to live in poverty in exile, but nor did he want Anne to continue a life with Henry.

Wyatt forced a smile on his face, though. "Yes. I could teach him perhaps." It would be diffcult but he'd have a chance to instill good values on the child. As he considered that, Wyatt realized something important.

"I wish it's a girl. A beautiful baby girl. It's not what Henry wants and he would lament about it but he he would also be less strict about the upbringing."

Anne smiled weakly at his question. "When has a good solution ever been present for us?" She teased him lightly. Ever since the beginning they'd been faced with adversity, and many times Anne had even wondered if God did not want them together.

But damn God and all the saints - Anne would be with Thomas Wyatt.

She considered his wish for a long moment, weighing the option in her head. It would bring hardship upon her and ridicule from her father if she did not produce a son. But Thomas was right. A daughter would be unnoticed, even ignored, by the King, and it would be easier for her to sneak a daughter away for mother-daughter time. Time that they could share with Thomas.

"I agree," her fingers rolled over her belly. "I too wish to have a daughter - our daughter."

"Our daughter. She will be loved so much." Wyatt placed his hand over hers. The moments he shared with her often had a combination of happiness and sadness.

"Is that it, then? Is our decision to stay in London and not run away? To have our child be raised as Henry's?"

Wyatt sighed. "I know you don't want to stay. I know and yet here I am asking you something that I have no right to ask... Can you forgive me for not wanting to leave England? God knows I love you above all things and I ought to put your wants before mine. I'm ashamed of myself, truly."

"Indeed, she'll have all the love in the world," she smiled and leaned in to kiss him softly.

But she soon nodded with a somber light in her eyes. "Yes, my love. I think it's best if we stay. It will not be easy, but we shall manage all the same." Just as they had before.

Anne smiled again and gently brought a hand to his cheek. "There's nothing to forgive, Thomas. We're not just doing this for us, this is for our child as well, as you said."

She so badly wanted to be a good mother for his child. For their daughter.

"You're too good for me," Wyatt said quietly and squeezed her tight against his chest for a moment. He felt relieved not having to cut ties with his family and everyone else, though this decision meant Anne's ties were too tightly connected to Henry.

Then he loosened his grip and concentrated placing small kisses along the side of her face. "We were so worried you would get pregnant and now that you are... I'm almost excited. I don't like the idea of our child not knowing who her real father is but maybe one day it is no longer necessary to keep it a secret. Your Mary, I know she can understand how important that is."

Wyatt looked into Anne's eyes, and then her mouth until he couldn't stop himself from kissing her propery.

Edited 2015-06-05 23:14 (UTC)

Anne smiled and gave a soft chuckle as he kissed over her cheek. She leaned towards him and smiled, glancing down at her belly.

"I know...it's so strange. I was so afraid..." and only moments ago. "I was so afraid to tell you...but I knew I had to. If I had kept this from you...it would've been so wrong."

She looked back into his eyes. For a long moment she just stared before she leaned in and brushed her lips over his.

"I can't wait to bring your child into the world," she smiled. "We will find a way, some way to get around this obstacle. Our child will be happy, and loved - that is what matters most, does it not?"

Wyatt nodded. "The child comes first. Nay, you come first before she is born. You must take care of yourself and stay healthy. Talk to your mother. She should know what to do." It was of upmost importance that this baby was born without complications.

His hand crept up Anne's bodice and stopped at the soft bare skin rising above the neckline. Since she was sitting on his lap, her bosom was right there for him to admire. Wyatt flashed a smile before tipping his head to kiss that area.

He looked quite somber afterwards and pursed his lips before uttering, "I would like to cuddle with you but that would be treason."

Anne nodded, knowing her mother would have a fit of joy when she told her the news. She would have to maintain her facade perfectly, that the baby was Henry's.

Not Wyatt's.

She sighed softly as he kissed her neckline. Her fingers reached up to card through his hair, loving the feeling of his curls beneath her fingers. His words though were heavy with truth. "Treason, yes - if only, my love..." for she would love to lay with him again, just to feel his arms around her, his hand over her belly, over their baby.

"We shouldn't linger here," she advised sadly. Mary had given her advice, and she knew Henry would come calling soon.

"Very well," Wyatt agreed a little defeated. He shifted his legs to indicate Anne should slide off of his lap and by lifting her up slightly by her waist.

Once standing up again, he took hold of Anne's hands. "I'm afraid Henry might be inclined to send me overseas on other missions if there is need. If that happens, and if I must leave suddenly and without a word, do not worry. I will come back to you as soon as I can. Always."

It was more difficult than ever to arrange secret meetings with her now. Indeed it was a miracle they had managed this one.

"I will keep writing poems. When you hear them recited or see them written down, they are my messages to you."

Anne slid gracefully from his lap and onto the floor. She was a little sad as Thomas told her he might be forced to go abroad, but she nodded, understanding. "You're an excellent diplomat, Thomas. It's almost funny - could you ever have imagined that you'd be working for the king as a foreign diplomat when we were growing up, Thomas?"

Anne couldn't help smiling, remembering the times they had spent together.

"I shall cherish your poetry, now more than ever," Anne kissed his fingertips. "Always."

Just as they had said before.

"Be careful abroad, my love," silently her eyes conveyed the message her lips dared not. Please, be back when the baby comes.

"To be a diplomat? No, but I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to serve the king like my father. Only I didn't know how. Nor would I have ever guessed that I end up competing for the same woman with the king."

Wyatt sighed as Anne kissed his ink-stained fingers. "You are worth it."

He pulled her into a tight embrace and rocked their bodies gently. Life at court would be extremely difficult for him from now on. Thank God for the baby, though. Wyatt could at least look forward to the day when his child was born.

Anne kept in his embrace for as long as she could, reluctant to let him go. She couldn't help feeling clingy; possessive. He was the father of her child. She wanted him nearby. If only it wouldn't look so strange for her to command that he be close to her for her entertainment. If only it wouldn't implicate them.

Letting him go for the night was the hardest thing in the world. But eventually she had to accept it, and with one last kiss she let him go for the night.

***

Anne sometimes wondered if Henry knew of her affair with Thomas, for he seemed to send the poet off on diplomatic missions more often than usual after her pregnancy was officially declared. After nine months Anne went into labor, and soon her screams echoed through the halls.

Of course only the best midwife in the whole country attended the Queen of England. Maids scurried in and out of the bedroom, carrying soiled linens with them. Two of Anne's ladies remained with her, holding her hands, wiping her brow, trying to soothe her. But damned if this pain wasn't the worst Anne had ever experienced! It was like every breath took all of her strength to take.

But it truly took all of her strength not to scream out for Thomas. So badly she wanted him near. She wished it was his hands that comforted her, not the maids'. Her breaths came heavily, shakily.

She was told that the King was already announcing that the baby was a boy, and was planning great jousts and celebrations to welcome the prince into the world.

All the while, Anne still prayed and wished for a girl.

Finally, after what felt like eternity, the baby came forth. Anne had to hide her joy as the maids announced that she'd given birth to a girl.

She'd given birth to Thomas Wyatt's daughter.

It was easy to promise to stay hopeful but less so to live according to that promise. Wyatt did what he could, however, despite of the pain in his heart. He wrote poems. Plenty of them. He was expected to write them, to praise the new queen like the loyal courtier he was. No one just knew how loyal - to the queen.

The stars be hid that led me to this pain;
Drowned is reason that should me comfort,
And I remain despairing of the port.

His poems, like those of other eager and aspiring writers, circulated the court. They were copied and recited even he wasn't around to hear them. He was confident that Anne came across them one way or another. Sometimes the lines were too suggestive and earned him sideway glances from Henry or George but he was always quick to defend himself against accusations of desiring the queen in more than a chivalric way.

My faithful lute
Alone shall hear me plain,
For else all other suit
Is clean in vain.

He certainly didn't want to put her in danger.

The months dragged on. Each time Wyatt returned from his travels, Anne's belly had grown rounder. The whole court waited anxiously and ready to laugh and roar at the birth of a prince, but when the news of a baby girl were out, the party turned quiet. Princess Mary and ambassador Chapuys scarcely refrained their spiteful joy. And Wyatt, he hid his relief behind glasses of wine.

His instinct was to go to Anne immediately but he had no reason to ask a permission. Only family could see her. No one knew he was more family than anyone else. But no, he could not wait so off he went to George. Please, he begged - and his drunken friend gave in.

When the day was coming to an end, Wyatt finally found himself standing by Anne's bed. Sadly, they could not be alone, for George was chaperoning the meeting, but at least he was able to see his newborn child.

"Congratulations, my lady and forgive my eagerness to see your daughter."

((OOC: the first snippet is from a poem that starts 'My galley charged with forgetfulness'. Sonnet 14 here: http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/wyatt.php?section=11
The second one is poem nr. 4 here: http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/wyatt.php?section=9 ))

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